ANOTHER AFFAIR

A married man was having an affair with his secretary.
One day, their passions overcame them and they took off for her house,
where they made passionate love all afternoon.
Exhausted from the wild sex, they fell asleep, awaking around eight p.m.
As the man threw on his clothes, he told the woman to take his shoes
outside and rub them through the grass and dirt.
Mystified, she nonetheless complied.
He slipped into his shoes and drove home.
"Where have you been?"demanded his wife when he entered the house.
"Darling", replied the man, "I can't lie to you.
I've been having an affair with my secretary and we've been having sex
all afternoon. I fell asleep and didn't wake up until eight o'clock."
The wife glanced down at his shoes and said, "You lying bastard!
You've been playing golf!"

 

BOLA BOYZ   ARSENAL   MAN UTD   CHELSEA   LIVERPOOL   SOCCERTALK

WHY DON'T YOU DO THAT TOO...???

YOU WANT A DAY OFF???

Let's take a look at what you are asking for. There are 365 days per year available for work.
There are 52 weeks per year in which you already have two day off per week.

Since you spend 16 hours each day away from work, you used up 170 days leaving only 91 days available.
You spend 30 minutes each day on coffee breaks that accounts for 23 day each year, leaving only 68 day's available, with one hour lunch period each day, you have used up another 46 days, leaving only 22 days available for work.
You normally spend two days per year on sick leave, this leaves you only 20 days available for work.
We are off for 5 day's  holidays per year, So your available working time is down to 15 days.
We generously give you 14 days vacation per year, which leaves only one day available for work and I'll be damned if you're going to take that day off !!

 

BOLA BOYZ   ARSENAL   MAN UTD   CHELSEA   LIVERPOOL   SOCCERTALK

LOST OF DOG

GREAT PIG!

A Guy walks into a Country Pub one afternoon, and orders a Beer. While waiting for his Beer he checks out the other occupants of the
Pub, and can't help but notice that the fellow standing next to him (obviously a Farmer) has a Pig on a leash, and that the pig has got a
wooden leg!! Unable to curb his curiosity, he engages the farmer in conversation.
Guy:  Nice Day!
Farmer:  Yup.
Guy:  Nice Pub!
Farmer:  Yup.
Guy:  Nice Pig!
Farmer:  Yup.
Guy:  How come you brought the pig into the pub with you then?
Farmer:  Well, you see, this pig is my best friend.
Guy:  Really? How's that?
Farmer:  Well, since the wife died, he does all the cooking and housework. Looks after me better than my own mother did.
Guy:  Really?
Farmer:  That's right. And not only that, but he saved my life not two years ago. Pulled me right out of the Dam after I fell in and bumped me head.
Guy:  Go On!  What a fantastic pig!
Farmer:  For sure.
Guy:  And how comes he's got a wooden leg then?
Farmer:  Well now, if YOU had a pig this wonderful, would YOU eat him all at once...???

TALKING ABOUT SHARINGS?

OH MY GOD!!!

An old man was on the beach and walked up to a beautiful girl in a bikini, "I want to feel your breasts," he exclaimed."Get away from me, you crazy old man" she replied."I want to feel your breasts, I will give you twenty dollars," he says. "Twenty dollars, are you nuts!? Get away from me!" "I want to feel your breasts, I will give you ONE HUNDRED DOLLARS" he stated. "NO! Get away from me!" "TWO HUNDRED DOLLARS" he offered. She paused to think about it,but then comes to her senses and said, "I said NO!" "FIVE HUNDRED DOLLARS if you let me feel your breasts," he exclaimed. She thought, well he is old, and he seems harmless enough and $500 IS a lot of money.... "Well, OK...but only for a minute." She loosened her bikini top and while both are standing there on the beach, he slid his hands underneath and began to feel... Then he started saying, "OH MY GOD...OH MY GOD...OH MY GOD..." while he was caressing them. Out of curiosity, she asked him, "Why do you keep saying, 'Oh my god, oh my god'?" While continuing to feel her breasts he answered, "OH
MY GOD...OH MY GOD...OH MY GOD... OH MY GOD, where am I ever going to get five hundred dollars?"